9/09/24 4:00 PM

i think schezo in puyo puyo sun should become the official symbol of the horror that is beinng a trans guy on your period. take a good look at him and tell me this isn't how it feels

9/02/24 2:40 PM

this the kinda shit ive been on [just finished season 1 of zetsubou sensei]

school starts in T minus 2 days... im in despair... im in despaiiir.....

8/27/24 1:30 AM

i had a quiet birthday. stayed at home, drew a bunch. mom n noah aren't home so it was just me and dad. we made dinner then watched a the first few episodes of inuyasha, then the first few episodes of dororo. looking forward to watching more of those they were fun ... ( ´∀｀) we laughed through the entirety of inuyasha because he sounds like sonic

8/20/24, 3:20 PM

hot coffee feels heavenly... temperature is dipping back down to 60 F it feels nice i almost want an excuse to go out again just so i can wear my denim jacket its been too long old friend. i dont know how my birthday is 6 days away. i dont know how school is 2 weeks away. i've been more inclined to punch walls lately but this apartment is so cobbled together i'm worried i'll actually break something

8/12/24, 1:00 PM

i'm back home. lots to think about lots to cry about lots to love about it's all a lot

AI haunts me as much as ever. it's been in my mind evermore as i have to face the idea of researching colleges. i want to create art. i wanna make people think and feel stuff. that's the only thing i'm sure of and yet it feels like there's a gavel over my head threatening to strike that hope right down. but! pessimism gets you nowhere! so my hope is that it's like a vocaloid situation. sure it may compete in the job market but people still wanna make art with their own hands that came from their own brains. i think it can coexist, somehow. maybe even destroy the soul-crushing job of being forced to draw boring infographic consumer-friendly blobs for massive corporations. singers will keep singing. artists will keep creating. it's not the end of the world.

and! clay schezo is just about finished!! currently all he needs is his cape and his blade and then i can get to work on painting him. i took a much needed break from animating this past week but i do hope to get back on it and maybe finish a full draft before school starts. wishful thinking? ah whatever

8/09/24, 3:00 PM

no updates lately cuz i've been at abbey's house! i've had a lot of fun i got to try weird snacks and i went to a cool museum. and i'm hoing to an aquarium for the first time later today. she also has a very cool fish tank in her house which her boyfriend takes care of.

i realized i've had very weird dreams the past month, i've been writing most of them down. i hope to maybe create a little point-and click adventure inspired by them some day. i've lost count of how many i've collected now, maybe i should number them.

i dunno why the idea of being inside my grandma's house for the first time in 4+ years fills me with this strange kind of dread. i love the beach. and i'll get to see her not too far away cuz she's in rehab right now. something is making me deeply deeply nervous

8/03/24, 4:00 AM

impulsively decided to start working on clay schezo. i have cleaning i'm supposed to do tomrrow my sister is visiting. GAHAAHAHAHA time isn't real anyway ill be fine. oh jesus fuck how long has my finger beeen bleeding do i have clay in my bloodstream now

ohh wow i feel horrible . lifes hitting me with the double whammy pain combo at the moment and im just making it worse by staying up but its ok i can worry about that kind of thing in my 20s

note on the last entry: I FUCKING LOVE SAYING WORDS!!!!!!!!

8/01/24, 7:00 PM

the ash ketchum trans male to haruhi fujioka trans male to barahead wizard trans male pipeline is a real and harrowing journey

7/30/24, 7:00 PM

watched one single episode of dororo [1969] and the op song wont get of my head. CURSE YOU CATCHY MUSIC AAAAGHH

andd then i finally finished kinos journey. dont ask me why it took me 9 months to finish a 13 episode long series. it was very cute and reminds me once more how cool and awesome being alive is. lexa lent me the first volume of soul eater and a couple of inuyasha so so. now i have no excuse to not try either of them! i started soul eater cuz ive already been meaning to watch that one and it rocks already. i always admired the art style of the anime but theres something kind of endearingly scrungy about the art in these early volumes ALSO the backgrounds!! holy shit the backgrounds i gotta do a full study of them at some point they're stylized wonderfully. the animation im working on requires a lot of em so thatd be useful... i have a draft uploaded for that now, the editing still sux tho cuz i'm just figuring out what needs to be added and whatnot.

7/28/24, 12:50 PM

trying to scrub the words "consuming content" from my vocabulary because i'm not eating containers! i'm looking at arts damnit!! anyways i made some eggs and rice this morning. putting scallions in there makes me feel all fancy and shit!! cooking is very fun i wanna get better at it. maybe i'll go work on my puyo fan animation while watching a mother 1 playthrough. it's one of those games that i'll maybe get around to playing the series myself one day cuz it seems cute, but i think i need a particular brainstate to be ready to do so. it's like how i've been about rewatching evangelion

7/25/24, 2:00 AM

hello world, first entry coming right up! i'll cook up some proper css for this laters. i had a piano lesson today, but i didn't practice nearly enough last week, so the whole thing was kinda embarrassing. afterwards i made the foolish decision to drink an energy drink on a near-empty stomach. like an idiot. normally caffeine doesn't hit me that hard at all, but my chest hurt and i felt shaky n faint and iwas pretty scared in the moment. i ended up being okay again an hour later after eating chicken caesar salad wrap ... i love you chicken caesar salad wrap. i dunno how i always end up misspelling that word as ceaser. its direct opposite of how i am with the word exercise, i always make it more complicated than it has to be.

i added a tiny bit more sketches to my current wip animation, then took a break again to draw sig and aya. this is my first time committing to video project of this scale, and i'm excited! it's going a lot smoother than i thought it would.